The Lure of the New

I just learned that one of my co-workers is in the process of moving, and I had a twinge of jealousy. Am I crazy?

If you know anything about me, you know that I have moved an awful lot. Ceeya is only five years old and she has already lived in four different homes -- we moved from one to another only days after bringing her home from the hospital. 

But:  following up on my previous post, I actually took the StrengthsFinder assessment and one of the things it told me was that I constantly need new challenges, so I should look for work which is really varied. This explains my craving to move, I think. I guess I just want something fun to do, and I love looking at new places and imagining the Blah Blah family in them. I love finding just the right space for us, finding the new restaurants and shops and parks in our neighborhood, and meeting new people. I love finding the perfect chair to go in the corner, or new artwork to hang in the kitchen. Every home is different. To me, moving is a pain in the ass, and exciting and fun, all at once. 

One of the things I love about moving is that it forces us to get rid of things because we can't justify moving them. I lurrrrve decluttering. And our apartment right now is feeling ridiculously cluttered and it hurts my brain. Not to mention we are getting close to the end of the school year (lots of extra papers coming home) and the beginning of a new school year looms, with both kids going to different schools next year--Viva graduating from elementary school and moving on to middle, and Ceeya moving to our neighborhood school (more on this in a later post)--with lots of extra paperwork for that as well. And Mother's Day artwork. Also Ceeya has become a bit of a multimedia artist, and she makes these large pieces which are inevitably spread out to dry all over the dining room table, along with all the materials which have gone into making them, and this is the first thing I see when I walk into the apartment after work, and it makes me a little cuckoo. 

The idea of a clean slate is certainly a nice fantasy. But we are creative types, so I must learn to live with some mess. But it's still nice to fantasize about moving into a bigger place, where all the other members of my family would miraculously become neat freaks and the sink wouldn't be full of dishes, or the hampers overflowing with laundry. And somehow I would corral all of our hair products and hair baubles and hair thingies and HAIR so they wouldn't randomly appear all over the house. (Three out of four of us have masses of curly hair which refuse to be tamed. The other one just shaves all of his off. I'll leave you to guess who that is.)

For the moment, I'm just going to have to suck it up. We are not moving any time soon. There are other changes happening in our lives that may not seem to be major, but who knows what tomorrow will bring? Be here now, and all that. 

Synchronicity! (And also, “AHA!”)

Do you ever have one of those moments where you run across something that just hits you as SO right that you want to slap your own self?

Today, I was reading Mighty Girl in one of my free moments. I do not read Mighty Girl all the time. I kind of save it up and when I have a free “catch up on blogs” moment, I can then spoil myself by reading several posts at once. Am I the only one who does this?

So: at any rate, this is not today’s post on Mighty Girl because I was getting caught up on my reading. It is a post from April 10 of this year. And in it Maggie discusses this book, StrengthsFinder 2.0, and she provides this quote:

“…people have several times more potential for growth when they invest energy in developing their strengths instead of correcting their deficiencies.”

And for criminy’s sake, it just walloped me up the side of my head. Because in my everyday life, in my full-time job, I can’t tell you how many times I have written this about the clients that my agency serves. We talk about a strengths-based approach, about finding what our clients are good at and then building on their strengths to help overcome their weaknesses (not exactly in those words, but you get the gist).

But in my own life, I focus on my own limitations all the time. I doubt myself, I second-guess myself, I wish I had said this better, or responded like that. Wow. Why?

Closing out the post, Maggie writes:

…I have a lot of internal voices saying, “Overcome your weaknesses! Be a better you!” And so forth. The truth is, the you you’ve got is just fine. Work with those raw materials instead of fighting your nature, and you make more progress.

I’m restraining myself from slapping myself again. But seriously? This is just what I needed to read today. Interested to read the book – and to hear if you have read it/heard about it.

April was a rough month. This idea of focusing on my strengths – and helping my family to find theirs – dovetails with several ideas floating around in my brain to get our family back on track. I am cautiously optimistic for what May will bring. Hoping for less hospital time, fewer doctor’s offices and more appreciating the moments and the beauty of each day. Stay tuned.

Forward

Image credit: unknown. I have seen this photo across the Interwebs, unattributed. if you know whose image this is, please let me know so I may verify and give proper credit.

"A man who wants to do something will find a way; A man who doesn't will find an excuse."
-Stephen Dolley, Jr.

Or, in my case, a woman who doesn't want to do something will find an excuse. Jesus, even the inspirational/thought-provoking quotes I find are sexist! Ha!

At any rate, I received this email from Chris Guillebeau today - and let me rephrase that - I am on the distribution list for his email updates, so he didn't send this to me personally. We are not best buds or anything like that. Though I admire him and find his insights and indeed his whole ethos helpful in a kick-you-in-the-pants kind of way. Like, for heaven's sake, take the bull by the horns or stop fricking complaining about that damn bull. 

All this to say: Chris included the quote above in his email. It really spoke to me and to my recent experience, as it really feels like the universe is bashing me over the head with this message, or to put it more nicely, reinforcing this message since I am getting it over and over in various forms and I am taking notice, Universe, please note that I am making changes. Changing my habits, changing my well-trod paths of procrastination and stuck-in-a-rut-ness.

Starting Friday, I began a small exercise routine. Simple bodyweight exercises that I can do on my bedroom floor to strengthen my core and build my arms back up, trying to keep that weird upper arm flap thing at bay. You know what I'm talking about. I can't have that. I also hiked both days this weekend. I am not trying to have a bikini body by summer - my goals are way more modest. I just want to be stronger and more flexible, to be kind to my body as I age.

In related news, this weekend I believe I experienced a hot flash. Is it too soon for this? I will be 46 this summer. Let's not talk about that now.

I am making changes, I say. I am captain of my ship, mistress of my soul. None shall defeat me!