Now, I will tell you, I am generally a very conscientious
employee. I have a strong work ethic on my own. But I could not keep up with
this woman’s demands, and though I had only started working for her in October,
by Christmas I had developed a twitch. A nerve under my right eye started
jumping. This went on for weeks. Sweet Dub was horrified. Mind you, we had only
been dating a few months at this point.
Finally, by March, we had both had enough. “You have got to
quit this job,” Sweet Dub said. “Look at your eye! She’s affecting your health!”
And then I did something unimaginable: I quit that job without another one to go to.
I gave my notice at my apartment, moved in with Sweet Dub and started
freelancing. I had some savings set aside, but really didn’t have to dip into
them, since fortunately I was able to get the freelance gig off the ground
fairly quickly. By June I was working 40 hours a week, mainly from home with
occasional client meetings.
But I digress.
The point is: once I quit the job, my eye stopped jumping
around. Sure, it was stressful trying to get the freelance gig going, but not
nearly as stressful as dealing with my boss’ craziness.
And now….
The twitch is back. Not as severe as before, but it’s back.
Recently, I had an encounter within my department which
pushed all my buttons. I believe this incident was condescending and revolved
around a bit of racist microaggression on which, if I had called the person on
it, I would have been given some crap about how I was misinterpreting what this
person was saying and being too sensitive. But you know how it is: when
something gives you a sick feeling in your stomach and you can feel the heat
rising to your face, that’s a pretty good sign that you’re not misinterpreting
a damn thing.
Hence, the twitch. I
don’t have the financial cushion I had back then when the twitch made its first
appearance, and quitting is not an option. Freelancing is also not an option,
since that’s what Sweet Dub is doing. For now, one of us needs a full-time job
so we can have some crappy health insurance that we’re paying too much for.
Without getting into details, this recent incident is not
the only reason I am unhappy with my current position. So, I’ve updated my
resume, and I’m determined to just grit my teeth and bear this until I can work
out where I want to go next. My boss is happy with my performance (I got a
glowing six-month review), the job pays well, it keeps food on the table and a
roof over our head.
Sometimes you just gotta suck it up. Either that or start drinking heavily. And I don't think I'm cut out for that.
