I have hit a new low

I am so tired today that I can't write. This is bad, because this is my second day in a row of feeling this wiped out. I still have a sore throat, which I've had since recovering from my cold a couple of weeks ago, and I can't tell if I'm getting sick again or what fresh hell this is.

So, since I am completely useless, I ended up actually reading my spam mail on my Yahoo! account. If you read my spam, you would conclude that:

(a) I really need to LOSE WEIGHT FAST!

(b) I have an online gambling problem.

(c) I am in desperate need of Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra.

(d) I am missing out on LOW LOW RATES by not refinancing my nonexistent house.

(e) I need to see Julie and her girlfriends doing things they've never done before...naughty, naughty Julie.

Hmm. What's it all about, Alfie?

To show you how mundane (and completely inane) my life has become: I drove to Target today in search of this. I would like to purchase it, bring it home, put it together and make Viva's room instantly neat as a pin. You will notice that there is no mention of this being a "Web-only" item. I don't particularly want to pay shipping for it, as it is a heavy item. Tax and shipping add almost thirty dollars to the price of this thing. Do I look like a sucka??

However, neither the Target nearest my home nor the Target Greatland (considerably more of a trek) carry this item. This is mighty irritating to me. The trip was thus a big old bust -- except that, as I was driving, I came across a shiny black Honda Accord with the following bumper sticker:

YOU ARE YOUR OWN FORTUNE COOKIE

I felt as if I had been tapped on the shoulder by a giant hand of indeterminate gender and color! I felt as if this message were meant expressly for me! Here, on this day, at this time and place, I was reminded by divine intervention that I am the mistress of my fate!

And if I can ever get off my ass, well, maybe I'll do something about it.

(By the way, for your own virtual fortune cookie fortune, click here.)

I've gotta go lie down. Smell ya later.