Friday, April 12, 2013

Life Lessons: Dealing with Conflict

What I would prefer to do.

Has someone ever said this to you?  “I don’t like confrontation, so…”

Does anyone really LIKE confrontation? I guess some people do get a charge out of arguing and trying to prove their point. To some people it’s a game. For me – having grown up in an unpredictable household – my survival instinct is always not to make waves, to fly under the radar, or whatever non-confrontational metaphor you’d like to insert here.

However, I have been trying in my grown up years to alter this tendency – not to become confrontational, but, when there is a conflict, not to back away from it. Today, I have been dealing with a work situation in which I have been treading very carefully and diplomatically around a top executive who felt they were being taken to task for something that was outside their control. I do not feel this person is completely absolved in this situation, but I can’t outright say that. Hence, I’ve been trying to tactfully suggest ways we can fix the situation without making things worse.

It appears to have blown over – the most recent emails I’ve received thanked me for clearing things up and my boss even went out and bought me a mini chocolate cake in appreciation (which for some reason, no matter what I do, will only appear here upside down. Ain't nobody got time for that.):

 Are you confrontational? Or are you an avoider? Or somewhere in between? 


Every problem has a gift for you in its hands. – Richard Bach


Bridget said...

Hate a confrontation for the same reasons you listed. Have been working the past DECADE on setting boundaries and holding ground when it happens to me. I don't ever think I'll pick a fight on purpose like some individuals like to do but if I'm provoked I can represent.

(It all just sucks really. Except for cake. Cake never sucks.)

Someone I wish I could emulate? A close friend of mine is an attorney. She's about 4 feet tall and very, very polite and very, very soft spoken. I LOVE seeing people unknowingly pick a fight with her. It's an awesome thing to behold. She's like a Velvet Hammer in a twig-sized package — people have NO IDEA what just hit them. And she reserves it only for those that have it coming. She once had a Subway restaurant looking like a scene from "Norma Rae" with Sally Fields.

Photo Tip: If you have a version of Adobe Photoshop, open the photo in Photoshop (it will appear right side up). Ignore its lies, we know it's really upside down. Go into 'Image', go down to 'Rotate Canvas', pick '180 degrees' (or another degree, it doesn't matter), let it flip the photo, then go back and rotate the canvas again '180 degrees' again so it's upright once again. Hit Save. It'll come up right side up in whatever you place it in from then on.

This has something to do with the device that you snap it phones, digital cameras, it's all the same. Meh!

Lisa Blah Blah said...

Evidently I am getting better at it but I aspire to be like your diminutive friend. I am only 5'1" so I have the height thing covered, now to work on my diplomacy skills.

Thanks for the photo tip, I will try to fix and let you know if it worked!