Monday, August 30, 2004

Getting to No You

So now I have yet another idea for a book (suggested by my Smarty-Pants Husband) and yet another idea for an essay (which came from my own brain). I am pleased that I have all this creative energy floating about, and I feel like I am in a good place.


Suddenly, last week, three separate people contacted me to do some freelance grant writing work. Eerrrrrrrrhhhh…and somehow, despite the fact that I have a babysitter only once a week, I almost said yes to all three. It would be good to earn some extra money, yes. But what the hell?! I actually did say yes to one very short-term assignment, agreed to a meeting with an old client, and talked to a prospective client about possibly working 20 hours a week.

The problem is this: I am really interested in working with that last one. The client is an independent producer who needs to raise money to fund a new public TV series, which I think is right up my alley. But I don’t really have 20 hours a week to give her, and I know that. The producer is one of those types who works evenings, weekends, etc. She is not sure about what she needs – whether they should bring someone on staff, into the office, full-time, or whether they can even do their fundraising with an off-site person on a part-time basis. They are already in production and need to raise nearly a half-million dollars, under the gun. She needs someone to jump right in and work quickly and be focused. I don’t think I’m in a position to do this type of job right now. Clearly, this is a case of the right project at the wrong time. So what the bleep am I doing?

The real problem is this: I just can’t say no.

And I’m doing all this (taking meetings, reviewing proposals, and fielding phone calls) despite the fact that my Dear Husband told me to take this year off from the grant writing, concentrate on Lovey, and write my book. I should really just call my old client, who I am to meet tomorrow, and call it all off. Sweetie Pie Husband, who is really quite practical, says I should take the old client business since I know them, know their programs, and can write things fairly quickly for them. On one level he is right, because there is some sense in keeping my hand in so that when Lovey goes to school, I can get back into the grant writing thing. However, this client is slow to pay due to cash flow problems, and since they are a small non-profit, they only write a few grants at a time. Is it worth it to bring our babysitter in more than once a week for some projects that aren’t going to pay off?

Sorry to inflict my petty First World problems upon you, but that is where I am at the moment.

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