Friday, February 24, 2006

She's Built, She's Stacked

A few weeks ago, we welcomed some new additions to the family: two male Betta fish. Viva is crazy about fish* these days, and when she was named Student of the Month in the three-year-old class despite being the youngest kid in the class and in fact not even yet having turned three, we felt she deserved some sort of recognition of her achievement. Sweet William asked her what she would like, and she decided on fish.

* She is also crazy for: yogurt in any incarnation, babies, dogs, cats, Maggie and the Ferocious Beast, singing, making letters out of straws/coffee stirrers/her own body, and edamame beans. Just so you know.

So we went down to Ye Olde Petco, and we looked at the goldfish, and after some discussion with an Official Petco Representative, we decided to go with Bettas, also known as Siamese fighting fish. More specifically, we decided to go with the male Bettas, which the Petco seemed to have in great quantities. We bought a tank with a barrier down the middle so they wouldn't be able to get at each other, because hey! These fish will actually fight one another** if they are in the same container! Hence, the name!

** So, yes, apparently we have elected to live with the fish version of pitbulls. Perhaps next we wil go in for cock-fighting.

At any rate, we have one pink fish with turquoise fins named Nemo, and one that is a very dark blue with red fins named Marlin. Viva is fascinated by them, and I'll admit it that after being petless since my cat died in 1999, it's been strange how quickly I've become attached to a couple of fish.

This morning, Viva wanted to know if she could put Dora in the fish tank so The Boys would have some company. This is the Dora she was talking about:

"Oh, I don't think so, baby," I said.

"Why not?" Viva demanded.

"Well, they each only have half a tank as it is. And Dora, well, she's kind of a big mamma jamma."

Why did I say that? It just slipped out. Guess what Viva's new favorite phrase is? Sung loudly and with gusto? "BIG MAMMA JAMMA, BIG MAMMA JAMMA, BIG MAMMA JAMMA!"

I wish someone would figure out just what is wrong with me, because that is just not right.


1. Today in my running about town, I saw a personalized license plate on the back of an old sedan that said simply: "GMILF." Now, I have of course heard the phrase MILF, but I think this is taking things a bit too far. (I'm assuming the "G" stands for "Grand;" correct me if I'm wrong.) Let's everybody take a step back, shall we?

2. This morning I got a facial, in preparation for the awards show this weekend. At one point, my aesthetician covered my face with a light fabric and then applied a freezing cold mask. "Is cold," she warned me one-half second before putting it on my face. "Whew!" I said. "What is that?

"I put mask because your skin is loose. I put mask to tighten your skin," she said.

Can you see a difference? Does my face look tighter? I wasn't aware that I was walking around with it loose. Once again, I wish someone would tell me these things.

3. "Criss-cross, applesauce!" is Viva's new catchphrase. It's all a bit demented.

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