Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Down the Rabbit Hole

I’m up and I’m thinking and I’m thinking and I’m up.

I am having some health problems these days. It appears I must find an internist and see to these problems fairly soon, as they are now consistently bothering me on a daily basis. This is pesky and unwelcome. I am of course worried about what might be wrong; I am inclined to think it is one fairly benign problem that will probably necessitate surgery, and then it will be over and life will go on, tra la la, as it did with my last surgery.

But this is a different problem, and would involve a different surgery, and naturally, my thoughts inevitably go to worst case scenario. And thus, here I am, typing away on my laptop while Sweet Dub slumbers in the next room. At least I think he’s slumbering. He may be awake and worried too. But the worst thing would be for us to be lying in bed feeding on each other’s anxiety and not getting any sleep.

So here I am, typing away and wondering if I can pilfer some wireless so I can post this. Our wireless connection is in our bedroom and it’s off, so it’s entirely possible that I can’t even post my anxieties to my blog, but the one foolproof way for me to deal with my anxieties is to write about them, so here we be.

What do you dream about? Do you remember your dreams? Sweet Dub is so resolutely a Capricorn that in his dreams, he’ll tell himself, “Oh, this is a dream,” so his dreams are fairly mainstream. My dreams are very trippy and bizarre, and they go on forever. Being in one of my dreams is like being inside a kaleidoscope. I’ll be in one location/scenario and all of a sudden, blip, I’m somewhere else with some of the same elements from the first part, or not, and watching a concert in a park with rows of live turkeys as big as elephants, and then I’ll be in an open boat navigating through canals to get somewhere with a spoon and a vat of gravy, and then I’ll be given a baby pig to take care of. Last night I had a dream that Sweet Dub and my sister Lola and I were shopping in a gigantic upscale mall. The mall was so ginormous that we had secured a hotel room within the mall to rest during our shopping spree. At some point, my sister Lola morphed into Sweet Dub’s sister Diva, who was calling me on the cell phone to tell me that the X&T store was having a sale on something, 2 for $70. I was resting in the very swanky hotel room amidst piles of bags and I remember thinking, “Do I really want to go back out to the mall for that?” and I must have decided not, because the dream ended there. This is very odd, because the older I get, the less and less I like shopping, so this is not something I would actually want to do. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was a nightmare, but you know, it wasn’t good.

Curious to know what my dreams will bring tonight. Sweet dreams, my cherubs.

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