The scene: Blah Blah bathroom, 7:15 AM. I have just emerged from the shower and I’m drying off. I become aware of a little voice speaking softly and coming closer. The bathroom door is flung open, whacking me in the ass. Viva announces dramatically: “I feel poopish!”
“Okay, then,” I say, quickly applying deodorant as my offspring drops her drawers.
“Clear the room! She’s gonna blow!” Viva says cheerfully, settling onto the toilet.
Man, I beat it the hell out of there, hair dripping and all. You don’t need to tell me twice.