Monday, July 14, 2008


So, last week the Blah Blah Family was on vacation, or as we like to call it, "staycation." I intentionally did not read email or blogs or for that matter, return phone calls if I didn't feel like it. And it was glorious. During this time, I: had my sister and her family over twice, including a sleepover on the 4th of July; went to the supermarket approximately 43 times; had a mani/pedi; bought a new car; went to the beach; saw a Sparks game in the skybox at Staples Center;
went to a pool party; read two books in their entirety; lounged around in the backyard drinking lemonade and eating Popsicles and watching Viva splash about in the pool; and I don't remember what all. The days just kind of blended together and that was just fine with me. I got to nap!

Okay, I admit it. With this pregnancy, I just can't be bothered with people. I get easily tired and thus easily irritated, and when people want to do things that aren't easy for me, I have actually begun to say no. I think the last straw was a few weeks ago, when I had agreed to a playdate with one of Viva's classmates. Her mom is sweet but a bit high maintenance, as in, she will call me every couple of days normally, but when we are having a playdate she will literally call me every five minutes before we get there. But first, she will call me the day before the playdate to confirm, then call the morning of the playdate to confirm again, then ask me to call her when I am leaving the house. This is not because I have ever been late to a playdate. I understand how kids are, and mine is just as hyper about getting to play with your kid as your kid is about getting to play with mine, so I am pretty much out the door when I say I'm going to be.

The problem with this mom is that I agreed I would meet her at an indoor playground in an area of Los Angeles County which is inland, and extremely hot. I actually live closer to this area than she does, but I left the house earlier than she did, because, as I explained to her, I needed to get gas and then pick up a gift for my grandmother's birthday at the same mall where the playground is. "You're leaving NOW?" she said.

"Yeah," I said. "I just have to do these two things and then if we get there before you, that's fine. We'll just meet you there." I was leaving about 10 minutes before she was, and she lives about 15 minutes further away. She proceeded to call me when she left, again when she got on the freeway (at which point, on hearing I was already in the parking lot, she screeched, "You're already THERE?"), and then every two minutes thereafter to determine where exactly we were. At one point, I had just hung up the phone with her and it rang again before I even put it down. What?? I almost threw the phone out the window. It was 98 degrees and I could not find a parking space and I was muttering not very nice stuff under my breath and Viva kept asking me what I was saying and I wanted to run someone over.

I just have no patience for stuff like this. I realize this is her issue, her anxiety, whatever, but it makes me not want to deal with her at all. She called me again while I was on vacation (despite the fact that we'd just seen her at a pool party three days earlier) and left a message wanting to get together. I haven't yet called her back. (I know, I know, I'll call her today.)

It's not that I don't like her. When we finally get together, I have a good time. But seriously, this woman calls me more often than my own sister does. (And I actually like to talk to my sister!) But I had other friends before I met her, friends who I love dearly who I don't get to talk with as much as I'd like. If I'm going to be talking to anyone, I'd rather be talking to them. (Note to friends: this doesn't mean that I'm actually going to call you, although you know I love you and think about you constantly. Kiss kiss!)
Sweet Dub said to me this weekend, "You are really anti-social these days. We both are."

"Viva doesn't want to go anywhere," I said. This is true. We had tried to lure her out of the backyard with promises of the park, the zoo, even heroin, but she just wanted to lie in the shade and paint watercolors with her dad and then splash around in the pool.
"But I wonder if she's getting that from us," he said. "We need to schedule some more playdates so she's not just around us all the time."

I glared at him.

"It doesn't have to be with just [Constant-Phoning Mom's kid]," he said. "Do she and Viva really get along THAT well?"

"They play together fine," I said. "But Viva never mentions her or asks to go play with her. She asks about [kid whose parents we like] and [other kid whose parents we like] a lot more often, so I've talked with them about doing a kind of a regular thing. We just haven't gotten it together."
"Well, get it together," he said, making a face at me.

"Whatever, get it together yourself," I said.

God! Why must I be so put upon? Me and my petty little problems.

So anyway, I am going to attempt to be more sociable. Wish me luck. Oh, and look upon me in all my anti-social hugeness:

P.S. Also, very short new post up at Belly Overwhelmed. Because I'm back from vacation, but why work? (ha ha, heh heh, that was a joke, I've been very busy today, really)


Cee in SF said...

I have no problem w/ anti-socialism. I'm VERY anti-social and it's just the way I like it. (Love you. Love your work!)

I need more info about the car now. Or whenever. I know how you are.

Molly said...

Oh, do I feel you. I've had a very similar friend. High maintenance and needy indeed. But, like you, the problem was that I didn't just plain dislike her. That would have been sooo much easier. I could have just put distance between us and moved on. But instead, I got together with her frequently and then spent the next 24 hours complaining to my husband about how she had annoyed/offended/irritated me to no end. He sooo didn't get it. Why do you keep hanging out with her? he'd say. Why indeed. Good luck.
p.s. I'm very irritable when I'm pregnant. And hot. People get under my skin. But I'm a really nice person and tons of fun to be around, under normal circumstances. Really.

Lisa Blah Blah said...

cee: I knew you would understand. Because we are like this [insert "we are of like minds"-gesture-which-I-can't-even-figure-out-how-to-describe here].

molly: Yes, that's exactly it. I don't dislike her, I just find certain things about her kind of nuts. She is the mother of 3 kids age 5 and under and doesn't work outside the home, so I know she likes to get out of the house and have adult contact whenever possible. Believe me, more sympathetic I could not be. But she'll call and ask me if I want to take the kids to a hip-hop class across town at 5:30 on a Tuesday. No, actually, I don't. After work, I want to drag my pregnant ass home, put on my loungewear, cook dinner and chill out with my family. I told her as much (much more nicely, and emphasizing the pregnancy and the summer heat). She is cool with that, but it just seems like she always finds some other thing, far away and/or requiring tickets or something, that she wants to drag me to on the weekend. She is funny and sweet and yes, a little crazy. I am trying to keep an open mind and see if I can train her. :-)

Nerd Girl said...

You look great! Glad you enjoyed your time off - I'm envious.

E. said...

Yeah, that would drive me nuts, someone calling me constantly. How do you say "I'd like to be a once-a-month kind of friend, not a twice-a-week kind of friend"?

Personally, I think women approaching the third trimester of pregnancy are allowed to be as antisocial as they damn well please.

You look absolutely cute, by the way, and so does Viva. A very cute pair, and once the little sister is born, the cuteness levels will be off the charts.

Lisa Blah Blah said...

nerdy: Thanks! I'm trying to keep it together and it's always nice to get compliments...

e: How do you say "I'd like to be a once-a-month kind of friend, not a twice-a-week kind of friend"? This is how I say it: I wait at least two to three days before calling her back. Very passive aggressive! I also note well the last time I saw her and I try to keep get-togethers down to once a month. I mean, I do have other family and friends I like to see. You know what I'm saying.