Transcript of recent conversation with my 6-year-old.
Viva: Why are you wearing (pause for effect) THOSE earrings?
Mama: These? (feels ears because can’t remember which ones) Oh, these. Um, I don’t know, I never wear them and Daddy gave them to me and so I thought today I would wear them. Why? Don’t you like them?
Viva: Well, Mah-OM (like she doesn’t know exactly how to tell me this): they look like boys’ earrings.
Mama: (busts out laughing) OH! MY. GOD! HONEY!
Sweet Dub (from another part of the house): WHUH?
Mama: Come and hear what your child is saying.
Viva: What? They DO.
Sweet Dub: What?
Mama: Listen to what has become of this generation. Your child thinks these look like boys’ earrings.
Sweet Dub (bursts out laughing) Oh, no. Really? Is that what we’ve come to?
Mama: Bling bling.
Note: The earrings in question are diamond studs. I have a tendency to wear dangly earrings mostly, so I hardly ever wear them. It appears that all the young men who like the hippity-hop music wear earrings like this and thus have ruined them forever for everyone else. Evidently I can’t yet wear them as a subversive, arch act of turning fashion on its head because people will just think I’m out of touch rather than cutting edge. Woe is me.