Technology, How I Love Thee

Quick post to announce to the world the acquisition of two things I love:

DishTV and a new cordless phone.

Let me say that the DishTV is all well and good, 5 million channels and all, but what I am loving most about it is the fake TiVo, which is to say, the Digital Video Recorder. Since I don't get out much, I am at a loss as to how I got along without this before, but I just have to tell you how much it fucking rocks.

Example: Watching TV. A reality show. Doesn't matter which: The Apprentice, The Biggest Loser, America's Next Top Model, whichever you prefer. At a crucial point of someone getting voted off or someone winning immunity, Viva shrieks from the other room. Since the remote is close at hand, I simply press a button and start recording what I might have otherwise missed, then go into her room and deal with whatever horrors have arisen. No more rummaging around for a tape or worrying about taping over things one doesn't wish to tape over, no flat-out bolting from the room and missing all the drama while my beloved candy apple pretends she needs a potty break so she can go into the bathroom and play with all her tub toys while on the toilet and thus avoid actually Going To Sleep.

Not to mention the beauty of Noggin (whose disturbing slogan is, "It's like preschool on TV." Um, okay, no.). Noggin! It is, how do you say, like crack for the little ones?

While I'm on this tangent, what is the deal with Maisy? Don't get me wrong, I got nothing but love for her, but if you close your eyes, the show sounds suspiciously Teletubbie-like. The characters don't really speak, it's more like squeaks and whistles, and there's a kindly male narrator to tell you what's going on. Viva, of course, adores it. I'm a little worried about that.

I have to wrap this up, but next time we can talk about Dora and those annoying Super Babies, to whom, evidently, their parents did not even have the decency to give names.

But before I go: the cordless phone. She is a replacement for our old, constantly pooping-out cordless phone, for whom replacement batteries plus shipping would cost us about as much as a new phone. I love her mainly because she is somehow coordinated with our voicemail system and thus we can actually see when we have a message, instead of having to pick up the phone to listen for the "boop-boop-boop-boop" tone. Had we had the phone hooked up on Sunday, I would have avoided my embarrassing flub of showing up at my friend's house when she had already called to cancel. You see how the technology, she makes our lives better?

Okay, so I'm off to pick up my little puff pastry, since it is 4:00 and the darkness, she fast approaches. Damn Daylight Savings. It feels like it's 7:00 all of a sudden.