Minutiae Maximae

Can it be that it has been nearly a week since I posted in this space? So sorry!

I hope none of you were worried that the outrageously radical politics of my last post led to my untimely demise. Nothing could be farther from the truth. What’s been killing me lately are all the demands of this modern life, to wit:

1. I had to get my hair cut. Back to the Fabulous Christine at last, and surprisingly, I can get to her new digs in about ten minutes, despite the new digs being In The Valley. All hail the 101/Hollywood Freeway, at least during non-peak hours!

2. Viva’s school held its Halloween Carnival on Friday. What this means is that not only did I have to suffer being repeatedly encouraged to buy raffle tickets – which I did, from some lovely fourth graders at the school – but I also had to come up with something to bring for the preschool Halloween potluck lunch. I decided on sweet potato chips and fruit kabobs, which sounded like a fine idea except that I didn’t want the kids to hurt themselves or anyone else with the skewers, so I decided to use plastic coffee stirrers in place of the skewers, which I thought the supermarket would carry, which they didn’t, so I ended up at Office Depot buying the only box of coffee stirrers they had – 2,000 count, which, what the hell am I going to do with that many, ever?

3. For future note: the reason that kabobs are generally made with wooden skewers is so the food won’t fall off (and I guess, so they won’t melt should you grill them). Fruit kabobs on plastic coffee stirrers? Um, slippery. Even with halved grapes on each end to try and keep the fruit on. Curses!

4. Lunch with one of my best buds, Coolia, after the Carnival. Coolia is so cool that she actually came to the Halloween Carnival on her day off, helped corral some of the kids (too much sugar, oh dear Lord), and treated me to lunch afterward. She also does not think that I am a horrible person, which is nice to hear. So: win-win.

5. Took Viva to an out-of-control Halloween party which featured crafts, on-site taco chefs (chicken, beef, carnitas), a magician, and sinfully chocolatey cupcakes, which Viva insisted on eating/smearing all over her Minnie Mouse costume.

6. For future note: Halloween costumes should be cheap and washable, especially when needed for multiple events in a short time-span. $14.99 for a fleecy mouse costume is just about right.

7. Made plans with my friend CC to have coffee Sunday afternoon. Forgot to check messages after returning from Halloween party, so after putting Viva down for her nap and cooking dinner early so Viva and Wills could eat while I was gone, I whirled back across town, only a few blocks from where we’d been earlier, only to be greeted at the door with a very tired: “You don’t check your messages, do you?” Oops.

8. For future note: Check messages every now and then, so you will know when friends have to cancel.

9. I set aside one day and thoroughly deep-cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. I dusted, I wiped, I washed floors and scrubbed toilets, I threw out crap from underneath the bathroom sink, and I didn’t power up my computer all day long. My home was a showplace. It stayed pristine until about 30 seconds after Viva walked in the door.

10. Took Viva trick-or-treating with some of Will’s oldest friends. Learned that one of our friends paid $100 for her kid’s Halloween costume, and was pissed that he had gotten it dirty. He is four years old. Please refer to #6.

11. Took care of business. Shredded outdated documents, shopped again and again for car insurance online (our insurer quoted us one rate in September and has since raised it substantially, 45 days later), called to set dental and eye appointments for the Blah Blahs, filled out paperwork for reimbursement from our flexible spending account, filled out paperwork for Will’s pension, input my resume online as part of a job application. It is all just as exciting as it sounds.

So, there you have it. I am back, sort of.

Radical Feminist Political Follow-up (okay, not all that radical)

Aside to Daniel re Prop. 73: in my haste, I admit to having mis-stated the details of Prop. 73. It requires parental notification (not consent) in the event that a teen under 18 seeks an abortion, 48 hours before she will be undergoing the procedure. I still think it sucks.

I also note that you did not even mention shoes in your comment, which means you must be fairly unfamiliar with this blog. Nonetheless, welcome.

Smattering of Vivaness and Proof of my Perennial Pushoverness

This morning, Viva had her second dental appointment ever. In talking to her about it beforehand, I reminded her about the last time she saw the dentist, and said he would want to take a good look at her teeth because it’s his job to see if her teeth are healthy.

Five minutes later…

Viva: Can I have some candy? I want candy right now.
Mama Blah: Sweetie, we are about to go to the dentist. You can’t have candy before we go to the dentist because he’s going to be looking at your teeth –
Viva: But I want candy now! [points to her Halloween Jack-O’-Lantern, which overnight has mysteriously been depleted of all hard candy/gross candy/stuff that would make her choke]
Mama Blah: Let’s see. Okay, you can have one piece of candy before you go to the dentist. And then we have to brush your teeth! [removes a package of Minute Maid all natural fruit chews from the Jack-O’-Lantern and dispenses one piece]
Viva [looking into Jack-O’-Lantern and finding the one other thing you should not eat before going to the dentist]: Oh, popcorn!
Mama Blah: You are so not eating that.

Five minutes later, having brushed her teeth…

Viva: Can I have my apple now?
Mama Blah: You just brushed your teeth!

Five minutes later, in the car…

Mama Blah: Here, have a slice of apple.
Viva: Where are we going?
Mama Blah: I told you, baby, we’re going to the dentist.
Viva: I don’t want to go to the dentist. I want to go to school!
Mama Blah: Well, sweetie, you’ll go to school after the dentist. It won’t take that long. You like the dentist, remember? Just like you like going to the doctor.
Viva: Oh. Can I have a lollipop?
Mama Blah: No, the dentist will not give you a lollipop. I know Dr. N [her pediatrician] gives you [sugar-free] lollipops, but you will not get a lollipop at Dr. M’s office.
Viva: Why?
Mama Blah: Because dentists don’t give out candy, because it’s bad for your tee—
Viva: I DON’T WANT TO GO TO THE DENTIST!

Forty minutes later, back in the car...

Viva: I got an oinky pig and a toothbrush!
Mama Blah: Yeah, the dentist is pretty cool, huh?