Actually, I've been doing some research on a new book idea that Sweet William and I have been working on. I should be washing my kitchen floor right now, but every time I look over in the direction of my kitchen, I become infused with malaise.* What's more, I am becoming used to the filth. It's not so bad. Embrace it!
I also have not yet finished an essay I was writing on spec to submit to some online magazines. I am going to blame this partly on the fact that I have a new laptop and I haven't yet switched over all my stuff -- I put all my freelance work stuff on CD and transferred that, but I haven't even remotely tried doing anything with the rest of it. But today I was reading the online magazine that I would like to submit it to (which I won't divulge here, as I am feeling suddenly shy) and I was thinking again, "Yeah, my piece could run here." Which is either arrogant or (shockingly) realistic, because what the hell, I am the bomb.
So, I have all this stuff lying about unfinished, and I started thinking about the minutiae that I allow myself to get consumed by instead of doing this other stuff. A lot of it is important, in that it helps our family life to function more smoothly -- the laundry, the tidying up, the shopping, even, God forbid, the occasional dusting (along with vacuuming, my greatest housekeeping weakness). Of course, this is all regular stuff, and then comes the more seasonal stuff -- like, now, planning Viva's birthday party and our vacation in April. It takes time, and even as I'm doing it, I realize that time is ticking away as my smoocheroo sits in preschool, learning how to spell her name (she spells her name now, how freaky is that?) and paint stuff on construction paper. I am constantly working against the clock.
Pretty much every grown up thing I have to do is easier when Viva is not with me, so I try to stuff all my errands in the hours when she is at school. At the same time, I am now working one freelance gig and looking for another one to supplement my meager income. And the magazine writing and book writing have to fit in around that. As does exercise. And teaching myself Web design. And taking a moment for some spiritual growth (one of my goals this year, in my effort to be a more balanced person). So even as I berate myself for not getting more done, I realize that I am trying to squeeze in a lot and I'm just going to have to be patient.
Also, the book idea? It's a great concept, but it's complicated, and in a different way than the other book I had put on hold to write something more "commercial." If I can do it right, it'll be immensely sellable -- but there are a few kinks I have to work out first. What's interesting about this book is that Sweet William and I are co-authoring. It was his concept, and we have been fleshing out the bare bones of the story, but I will be doing most of the writing, since I have more free time. (Which at first glance contradicts everything I said above, but is actually true. Sweet William has very little free time due to his job/family repsonsibilities -- he is very much a hands-on daddy when he is home. Fortunately, he doesn't require very much sleep.) I am simultaneously excited and overwhelmed at the thought of writing it, but knowing that we will both be working on it makes it easier.
Happy weekends, all. Enjoy your time!
Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.
- Sam Levenson>
* "Infused with malaise" sounds like a cooking term, dun't it? Like, "Today, I'll be showing you how to slow roast brisket, infused with malaise. Right after this commercial break!"