Viva has pinkeye.
Of course, because I had grand plans for today and tomorrow (all having to do with buying Presents! And ordering Cake! For her Birthday! So even when it seems it's all about me, it's still all about her) and yet this morning she woke up looking like Little Ray Charles in Ray -- you know the scene I'm talking about, where he's going blind and he always has this sludge around his eyes, and his mom puts salve in his eyes because she is too poor to take him to the doctor to treat what may have been a simple and curable infectious condition and so poverty, in essence, is what blinds him? -- well, this morning, I went in to wake Viva up and her right eye was caked shut with this crusty sludge.
After I screamed and jumped around and freaked all the hell out (INSIDE, people), I picked her up and took her to the bathroom and plopped her on the toilet, and then I went and found my husband and said: "Viva's eye is crusted shut." And it was then agreed that there would be No School today and that a Doctor's Visit was in the offing, and there was much wailing and heartbreak both by me and Viva, though for different reasons, I'm sure.
But! We had a lovely morning at the park, where Viva played with No One, and then we got in the car and went to see the pediatrician, Doctor Susie. Doctor Susie took one look* at Viva and said, "Oh, yeah, conjunctivitis."
Well, Viva played it up a little bit, because she is all about the drama, so here is a little bit of how it went:
Dr. Susie: Are any of your friends at school sick, too?
Dr. S: Really? Hmm, have you been coughing a lot?
Mama Blah: [snorts in disbelief]
Dr. S: Does it hurt when you cough?
Mama Blah: [shoots Dr. Susie a look]
Dr. S [right back atcha]: Do you have a fever?
Dr. S: Ahhhh. Does your nose hurt?
Dr. S: Hmm, that's interesting. [Dr. S and Mama Blah grin at each other conspiratorially, and then:] Well, let's get you a lollipop.** Have you decided what color you'd like?
Viva [instantaneously]: Purple!
At any rate, conjunctivitis is HUGELY contagious, so no school tomorrow, probably, and by the way, Viva's Auntie Diva was supposed to pick her up for a sleepover on Saturday so Mama and Daddy Blah could have a Date Night, and, well, that's looking like it may be all shot to hell. It is always something, ain't it?
* "Just one look, that's all it took, yeah, just one look..." By the way, I did actually wash Viva's face this morning and removed all the crustiness with some warm water, so in case you were thinking I just took her out of the house like that -- well, I didn't.
** They're sugarless lollipops. I mean, she is a medical doctor, people.
If the title of this post is driving you a little nuts, that's because it is a partial lyric from the song "Blinded By the Light," written by Bruce Springsteen but made popular by Manfred Mann. Yes, I am a child of the '70s. Nice to meet you!