Monday, June 12, 2006

New Job, Day One. Teetering on the Edge.

First day of work: not bad. Simply exhausted from the preparation and organization leading up to it, so I am sitting down to blog rather than making Viva's and my lunches as I should be. Get off my case!

Sweet William was supposed to pick Viva up from school today, so I called him at 5:05, as I was leaving work. "So, you're on your way to get her, right?" he said.

"That is so not funny," I said. "Where are you?"

"We're in the elevator," he said, meaning that they were already home. I heard Viva's sweet little voice piping up in the background. "She says to tell you we got you a flower to celebrate your first day of work," he said.

"That's so sweet," I exclaimed, and then we got off the phone and I started bawling as I was trying to negotiate through traffic in Koreatown. By the time I got home, fifteen minutes later, I had pulled myself together. I walked through the door and my family greeted me with cries of exuberance. Viva showed me the flower, and I kept my shit together and told her it was beautiful, and then she said, "Mama, I am so proud of you for your first day at work!" and I said, "Thank you, sweetie!" and I had to walk away because I was starting to cry again.

Sweet William hovered about me in wondrous disbelief, and then went back to the living room figuratively if not literally shaking his head, while I stayed in the bedroom, blubbering onto my new green shirt.

I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I have never been much of a cryer. Since Viva's birth, I do tend to be more weepy than before. And right now, I am just a frickin' emotional mess.

On to Day Two.

1 comment:

E. said...

Touching story. I am definitely more prone to busting out in tears since my boy was born (and it's been three years). And I remember going back to work was an emotional rollercoaster at first. I was happy to be back and it felt good to be doing something so me-oriented at a time when my identity was almost entirely "mama." But it was hard to leave my baby.

I love the "I'm so proud of you!" That is the sweetest.