Thursday, August 04, 2005

Celebrational, Educational, One Bad Situational

I Can't Transcribe a Guitar Riff...

...But if I could, I'd put the opening chords of "[You Say it's Your]Birthday" up there. The birthday greetings have begun! What fun! This, despite my birthday being a week away. I received a card from one of my bestest friends, Coolia, yesterday, via which she said since she has been late with birthday greetings she is sending mine early.*

Also, my dear friend M sent me an e-card today, the text of which (in its entirety) is, "Truism: It's your birthday, so rock out with your cock out!" Sadly, it appears he meant to send this on my actual birthday, but it came prematurely (get it? Get it? Ouch, sorry, but that pun was just floating out there...)

At any rate, I love all the early birthday wishes. Thanks, guys!

* This is all the more sweet as I know she is consumed with work problems, personal issues, and flying to Phoenix every two weeks to help care for her mom, who is, it appears, in the early stages of a deteriorating illness. Coolia, you are the coolest and I love you madly.

School's Out!

For one day, anyway. Viva ended her career at one preschool today and will begin at her new, bigger, better, bionic preschool on Monday. One of the moms (O's mom) at her preschool was pressuring me to get together with them tomorrow for a play date at LACMA, but I made her back off. "Back off, bitch!" I said.

Um, actually, what I think I said was, "That's so sweet, but you know, tomorrow is kind of our last hurrah, since Viva will now be in preschool five days a week and I will be going back to work, so I think I'm going to just spend the day with her, you know, just the two of us." And of course O's Mom was completely understanding, but still was reluctant to let us go, as was pretty much everybody at the school. Viva told me on the way home that Miss Elsa (her teacher) was crying. I was a little skeptical of this, but then when I asked why, Viva said, "She goin to miss me." Awww, so sweet.

For my part, I did write Miss Elsa a very nice note and brought her flowers to thank her for being so great and making Viva's first school experience such a positive one. And I even brought cookies for the kids! (Not homemade. Come on, now, people.)

I do think she has really had a good experience at school, and I am hopeful that her experience at the new school will be just as good, if not better.

Oh, but wait! Hold the phone! Here is the big news of the day: when I picked Viva up, she was wearing the same outfit as when I dropped her off. This means that she kept her pants dry, and used the toilet only, for the entire day thus far (as she also just peed before her nap and is currently sleeping like a babe). As it is now almost 3 PM, I think this is pretty damn fantastic, and practically light years away from a mere two days ago, when she brought home poopy pants in a bag. I high-fived her at school when I saw she was dry, and I am thinking this calls for some kind of special treat. Ah! Fortuitously, I bought fingerpaints just yesterday. Perhaps we can try them out when she gets up. The carpet needs cleaning anyway...

Warning: Do Not Try This at Home. Or in the Car.

Forgot to mention my latest near-heart attack. On Monday, I took Viva to the park, and after playing and snacking and playing some more, I determined that it was nearly time for lunch, so we headed back to the car. Now, Viva does not currently like to just get in the car and head merrily off. Oh, no. She decided she needed a drink, and she didn't want to drink it in her car seat. She wanted to sit in my seat and pretend to drive, which I allowed her to do (Neophytes: Note well, choose your battles.). We sat there and talked and she looked in the vanity mirror and pushed buttons and it was all very nice, but then I said we should really be getting home. She happily clambered into her car seat, and we buckled her in (she knows how to buckle the top buckle ALL BY HERSELF, "I DO IT MYSELF"), and I shut the car door and went around to the driver's side, and --

The door was locked. All the doors were locked. Viva had hit the "lock button" while the doors were open, and I had just locked my kid inside the car. With the key in the ignition, but with the engine (and air conditioning) off. Near noontime on a Southern California summer's day.

Here is a basic transcription of what went through my head: OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK OH MY GOD Okay wait the front windows are ajar and we are under a tree so she won't die right away from the heat Let me see if I can push the window down and reach the button NO GODDAMMIT Okay, Honey works ten minutes away and he has a key to the car OH FUCK my purse is in the fucking car with my fucking cell phone inside it wait WAIT here comes somebody "HEY! Does one of you have a cell phone PLEASE, I just locked my daughter in the car" -- and two very nice men, parents themselves, stopped to help me. One gave me his cell phone, whereupon I called Sweet William, who was just about to run out the door to come help me when the other nice man who stopped managed to force the window down further and pushed the button and opened the door.

It took all of maybe five minutes, but I would not wish it on anyone. I was trembling and about ready to throw up. Adrenaline can jack you up, man.

Whew, just thinking about it, I need a drink. Dang! Who's with me?

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