On My Left, Morons. On My Right, Idiots.

I have a really, really low threshold for people who waste my time. It dips even lower when I finally get around to doing something I've been meaning/wanting to do for a while, but just haven't gotten around to.
I speak, my friends, of the carpet cleaning.

Sweet William has been known to rent a steam cleaner and clean the carpets himself of a weekend. But this was before we had an active 2.5-year-old (necessitating more frequent cleaning) and before he became a yoga zealot (necessitating two hours of Ashtanga on a Saturday morn, cutting into the weekend time he spends with Viva, which he treasures).

I asked the carpet cleaners to come and clean our carpeting and our giant red sectional couch (which can be viewed in the Flickr yoga photos to your right) this morning at 9:30. They told me they would put me in the 8 AM to 12 PM window, and someone would call me in the morning to pin down a time. I emphasized that I wanted a mid-morning time. By 10 AM, naturally, I hadn't heard from anyone. Mind you, I had already moved all breakables and anything that could be moved onto the beds (nightstands, lamps, etc.). I was ready.

I called them. And called them. And called them. Because, you see, their toll-free number was busy. Are you kidding me?

So then I finally got through and I left a message. A nice man named Douglas, who no doubt is trained to deal with annoyed people like myself, called and explained that my technician, Jerry, was in my area and should be on his way, but he gave me his cell phone number just in case. I called it. The connection was spotty, but I could hear Jerry say, "Damn! Now I have to go all the way home!" So not what I wanted to hear. I argued with Jerry for several minutes, called Douglas to cancel, and he told me to hang on, he'd get someone else in my area to do it.

Oops -- my cell phone just rang. William, a different technician, is here, in my building. Hang on.

Holy shit, William is like eight feet tall. Note: it is 11:15 AM. The cleaning is about to commence. More on this as things progress.