Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Maximum-Strength Relief

Last year at this time, I came down with both bronchitis and a sinus infection. I had this horrible post-nasal drip that would not be put off, no matter what I tried.

Mama Blah Blah: Uh, Post-Nasal Drip? It’s really not a good time right now, since it’s right before the holidays? So do you think you could, you know, go –

PND: Hell, no! I’ve moved in and I’ve already set up my satellite dish!

MBB: I see. But Post-Nasal Drip, I have so many other things to attend to right now. If you could just –

PND: Turn the heat up! And get me a beer!

MBB: Listen up, Post-Nasal Drip. I’m taking Mucinex.

PND: Fuck that noise. You can’t scare me! What do you think I am?

MBB: You are one sorry muthaf – okay, I’ve seen the doctor twice and you’re still here. I think I have to bring in the big guns. I’m going to the Ear Nose and Throat guy.

PND: The who-ha?

MBB: Take that, you sorry piece of shit!

PND: I'll get you! I'll...[trickles up and slides away]

MBB: [smiling contentedly] Ahhhhh.


MBB: Shit! What the hell are you doing here?

PND: Bitch! You thought it would be that easy to get rid of me?

MBB: I’m going to get some Sudafed.

PND: Like I’m scared. I see you’re at work today and forgot to bring that shit with you. You know you can’t just run out to the store and buy some more, right? They track that shit. If you go buy more, they’ll mark you as a meth addict and narc on you!

MBB: You’re making me gag. Jesus, this sucks.


Cee in SF said...

What??! Not before the holidays! You'd better see the who-ha doc again and take care of this before the fam gets it and it bounces around for months.

Lisa Blah Blah said...

I know. Viva already has a bronchial infection and is taking antibiotics as we speak. Well, not as we speak, because we aren't actually speaking, and she isn't taking them at this exact moment, but, well, you know what I mean.